The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is a metaphor depicting the end of times in the New Testament. They describe conquest, war, hunger, and death respectively. We use this metaphor to describe communication styles that, according to our research, can predict the end of a relationship. Criticism The first horseman is criticism. Criticizing your partner is…
Second marriages It can be easy to assume that the second marriage will be easier than the first. After all, practice makes perfect, right? And while this can be true in lots of ways, remarrying can come with its own range of complications and concerns. Problems in second marriages – reliving the past One of…
Moaning can sound like a lighthearted problem, or something that’s not that serious. And while there’s nothing wrong with the occasional moan — in fact, it’s usually positive and healthy to express negative feelings, if it’s constantly happening in your relationship, it can begin to have an effect. On one level, constant moaning can create…
Women are more than twice as likely as men to lack interest in sex when living with a partner, a study of British sexual attitudes suggests. It found that while men and women lost passion with age, women were often left cold by longer relationships. Overall, poor health and a lack of emotional closeness affected…
Making the change from being a couple to being parents isn’t always easy. It can be difficult to find time for yourselves, your sex life can change, you have to juggle the commitments of work and family and find a way of agreeing on how to bring up the children. When the baby comes home…
“They fuck you up, your mum and dad / They may not mean to, but they do / They fill you with the faults they had / And add some extra, just for you.” So begins Philip Larkin’s famous poem, This be the Verse. Larkin’s representation of familial inheritance here is clearly overly pessimistic and…
‘Holding onto resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.’ When you’re feeling disappointed, angry or betrayed, the idea of forgiving someone can feel a little bit like giving in – as if, by letting go of your resentment, you’re allowing them to ‘get away with it’. It can be…
Magic five Award winning marital therapist, researcher and author Dr John Gottman made a key observation of couples who stayed together – that they have a 5:1 ratio of positive to negative interactions in their relationships. A positive interaction might be a thoughtful action, asking questions, showing empathy, a kind word, a hug, a gift, a shared…
A post taken from Relate.org.uk blog….. It’s all too easy to pick up negative communication habits when it comes to relationships. Who can say they’ve never raised their voice in an argument? Or unfairly accused their partner of something? Or even refused to engage in a discussion at all? The thing is, if we’re not…
There are things people believe about relationships that are simply not true and don’t help us to have healthy happy relationships. I call these relationship myths. In this post, I’m going to be ‘busting’ the top 5 relationship myths that I regularly hear couples bring into the counseling room. 1. ‘Relationships should be easy’ or…
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