Being ‘good enough in bed’ is a preoccupation of many people, yet few have a definite idea of what ‘good enough’ means. Performance is rarely what is most important about the sexual experience, and worrying about performance can spoil it. Being in the moment allows you to appreciate the closeness you feel during sex with…
Most people know what physical abuse is, but when it comes to emotional abuse, people tend to think there’s much more of a ‘grey area’. They might know it has something to do with treating your partner badly – name calling or making them feel small – but not be clear on what’s actually classed…
Many couples will experience different levels of sex drive at some point in their relationship. For some couples differences in sex drive may have been present from the start of the relationship. This is normal and lots of people find ways of compromising that feel fine to both partners. For some people, their sex drive…
“So many women don’t feel seen, heard or validated in the relationship.” 08/02/2016 08:36 pm ET 210 Brittany Wong Divorce Editor, The Huffington Post Oliver Rossi via Getty Images Women considering divorce often turn to therapy as a last-ditch effort to save their marriages. Many times, their husbands have remained painfully unaware of the marital problems until that…
“They fuck you up, your mum and dad / They may not mean to, but they do / They fill you with the faults they had / And add some extra, just for you.” So begins Philip Larkin’s famous poem, This be the Verse. Larkin’s representation of familial inheritance here is clearly overly pessimistic and…
Relate’s new survey The Way We Are Now 2015 reveals that 50% of us rarely or never argue. It certainly seems like encouraging news. But is conflict really something we should avoid? Or is it just part of a healthy and communicative relationship? The answer really depends on the kinds of arguments…
Talking about money with your partner can be really tricky. People often have very different attitudes when it comes to finances. You might be very careful with your cash while your partner may be a bit of a spendthrift. And then there are all the decisions to be made about setting up joint accounts. It’s…
Relationship Difficulties Here is some general advice about what to do if there is conflict in your relationship. These are the sort of steps a relationship therapist might take you through. Take Time Out When a conflict flares up it can be incredibly hard to stop talking and separate off. The temptation is…
Stuck in a rut Changes People don’t stay the same and neither do relationships. One of the things that couples cite over and over again is how their sex life changes. In the early years sex is often urgent and exciting. Many couples will grab every opportunity they can to make love and sex…
There are things people believe about relationships that are simply not true and don’t help us to have healthy happy relationships. I call these relationship myths. In this post, I’m going to be ‘busting’ the top 5 relationship myths that I regularly hear couples bring into the counseling room. 1. ‘Relationships should be easy’ or…
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