Being ‘good enough in bed’ is a preoccupation of many people, yet few have a definite idea of what ‘good enough’ means. Performance is rarely what is most important about the sexual experience, and worrying about performance can spoil it. Being in the moment allows you to appreciate the closeness you feel during sex with…
Most people know what physical abuse is, but when it comes to emotional abuse, people tend to think there’s much more of a ‘grey area’. They might know it has something to do with treating your partner badly – name calling or making them feel small – but not be clear on what’s actually classed…
There’s no formula for knowing when you should leave a relationship – it can be really stressful and confusing trying to make a decision. You may think things haven’t been right for a while but still feel undecided about whether you could work through your issues. While you might clearly remember how good things used…
Relationship challenges can come from all kinds of places. You may have to deal with the challenge of feeling your partner has let you down in some way. Or the challenge of resolving a big difference of opinion. Or more practical challenges – like making sure you spend enough time together or learning to budget…
“They fuck you up, your mum and dad / They may not mean to, but they do / They fill you with the faults they had / And add some extra, just for you.” So begins Philip Larkin’s famous poem, This be the Verse. Larkin’s representation of familial inheritance here is clearly overly pessimistic and…
How are you doing with your New Year resolutions? Are they working out well for you, or have the January blues been sapping your energy levels? Maybe one of your resolutions was to sort out those niggling problems in your relationships or to do more to bring you and your partner closer. I’ve been thinking about these kinds…
1. Talk constructively How you say things is as important as what you’re saying. If you and your partner are having a disagreement, don’t just attack them or go all-out criticizing. Why not try using ‘I’ statements? By saying ‘I feel’ rather than ‘You always…’ you’re taking responsibility for your emotions and your partner won’t…
Talking about money with your partner can be really tricky. People often have very different attitudes when it comes to finances. You might be very careful with your cash while your partner may be a bit of a spendthrift. And then there are all the decisions to be made about setting up joint accounts. It’s…
Moving in with your partner can be a great way of expressing your commitment to one another, but it comes with its own set of challenges too. Some people suddenly find themselves feeling a little suffocated by all the time they’re spending with their other half. Some get frustrated about things like finances or…
‘Holding onto resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.’ When you’re feeling disappointed, angry or betrayed, the idea of forgiving someone can feel a little bit like giving in – as if, by letting go of your resentment, you’re allowing them to ‘get away with it’. It can be…
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